Disrupting Conversations #3

Your drive could be holding you back

Welcome back to the Disrupting Conversations newsletter. I’m so glad you’re here for the third issue.

In this month’s “Think Different” section, I share about how internal drive can be both a performance advantage and hindrance—like when we feel “behind the ball” no matter how productive we are. Waking up every day feeling like you can’t do enough is exhausting and unsustainable, but there are ways to take care of ourselves even when we have to give our max output.

There’s also a new episode from my Breaking Sales podcast about one of my favorite aspects of sales high-performance: the detached mindset. Check that out below, as well as some inspiring quotes, a lighthearted meme, and notes from life on the things that are “Bigger than Sales.”

Thanks for joining me again, and I’d love to hear from you any time you have questions or feedback.

–Dan

If you want to learn how to build trust in your outreach, questions, and conversations—and really help your prospects debate change—check out our webinar series starting March 16th.

Breaking Sales is my podcast to connect with those who are ready to break free from the chains of old sales methodologies that don’t work.

Wondering when a recession may or may not hit can create uncertainty at all levels. Many of Lappin180’s clients find themselves discussing rate increases with their clients. It can be an awkward and daunting interaction, informing your client of a rate increase knowing that they might be slashing budgets, downsizing, or placing new projects on hold. In the end, you can only control the controllables - your mindset and how you approach the conversation.

This most recent episode, “Four Methods of Detachment,” highlights the only aspect of those tough moments that we can control: our mindset and how we approach the conversation. Tune in for a conversation between my fellow coach, Pam, and me about the four tactical areas where detachment will help you perform in the clutch.

Think Different: Managing the Voices

Most sales professionals are ultra-competitive by nature. But having so much innate intensity and drive can make you feel like you’re always behind the eight ball.

You could have had four days of extreme productivity, but still wake up on Friday feeling like you can’t keep up because you’re dwelling on the one thing you didn’t do.

People I coach feel that way all the time. They can’t help it. They feel a sense of urgency and intensity 24/7.

The thing is, the incessant voice telling you that you’re behind is your own. And it’s holding you back.

This voice depletes your energy and causes an instant rush of scarcity and attachment, and your drive continues to turn the crank. It impacts your ability to make decisions, stay objective, and create.

👉 The worst thing you can do is give into the voice and let that frantic energy run wild. It may feel good in the short term, but it’s simply a band-aid. In those moments when you hear, You’re way behind, you need to… or You keep putting it off, you should be… Pause and take a breath and then calmly ask the voice a few questions:

• “Who says I’m behind and why do I need to…right now?”

• “How will this help me…?”

Sometimes, though, asking yourself questions isn’t enough. You need to do more to slow down. Here are a few of my favorite techniques that I’ve learned over the years:

• Breathe. You have to trigger your parasympathetic response, which calms the body after fight or flight. I studied a bit with a Tibetan monk on this topic, and he advocates breathing exercises. The simplest is four or five seconds in and four or five seconds out, for four or five minutes. There are several variations, so do a little research and start experimenting. It's very powerful—but only if you make it a mindful part of your daily practice.

• Journal. Take time each day to journal from a place of abundance. Focus on what you have that’s good (no matter how small), as opposed to what you don’t have.

• Focus on process. When your brain is spiraling with feelings of self-doubt, remind yourself that you’re in the process. The outcome you are striving for is the result of your process:

  • Learning what you need to accomplish X.

  • Making the mistakes you need to achieve Y.

  • Taking the risks you need to create Z.

• Prioritize tasks. Identify the three non-negotiable actions you must do during the week to bring you closer to what you’re trying to accomplish. Schedule the time in your calendar. Don’t let the week’s noise distract you; those efforts create your future.

It may not always feel like it, but you have a say in what your experiences look and feel like today and tomorrow. However, you have to ensure your great energy isn’t chewed up by things you can’t control, distractions, and self-doubt. These techniques can help you center yourself when things feel out of control, or you’re not making the progress you want fast enough.

It's Bigger Than Sales

I believe that life is about experiences. In this section, I'll be sharing the experiences—big and small—that are generating fulfillment for me, in hopes that they spark something impactful for you.

Over the past two years I’ve been following a morning routine. Sometimes instead of working out, I will go for a walk. I’ve noticed that they both give me energy and help me start my day very grounded and in the moment.

Whether it’s by yourself, with someone you love, a friend, or your dog – try and give yourself that time in the morning that makes you better and stronger, so you can be present for everyone and everything else. Here are three of my favorite sunrises from this practice.

Thanks for reading!

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Laughter Can Drive Performance—If You Let It