Does Your Expertise Help or Hinder?

Welcome back to the 31st issue of Disrupting Conversations! 

Trust is an exchange. Even as you read this, you are processing my words to determine how much you trust what I have to say. We are both exchanging time and effort. Me in trying to write content that will offer you some value, and you in committing your intellect and attention to read, debate, and either discount what I’m saying or buy in. 

This exchange is immediate and ongoing. It’s the same thing you and your prospects go through during a conversation. You’re both trying to determine how much time and effort to invest in listening, honesty, objectivity, and caring. 

However, your perspective is tainted by your need to be liked, impress others, and/or advance a sale—placing you at a disadvantage. 

Here's a question that might make you uncomfortable: How much time have you actually spent researching and studying trust? If you're like 99% of the population, the answer is probably "not much." Yet, trust is the cornerstone of every productive and meaningful conversation you’ll ever have—including sales. 

So, what do the experts say about trust? 

Today, we're diving deep into the psychology of trust in sales. It's time to wake up and face some hard truths about how we perceive and build trust with other human beings. Buckle up, because this might just change how you approach every sales conversation from now on.

Breaking Sales is my podcast to connect with those who are ready to break free from the chains of old sales methodologies that don’t work.

Title of Episode: Evolving Trust with Kent Grayson 

🎙️Trust isn't just a buzzword—it's the bedrock of human interaction. In this eye-opening episode, I sit down with Dr. Kent Grayson, Professor of Marketing at Northwestern’s Kellogg School of Management. Dr. Grayson, an expert on trust and authenticity in the marketplace. His extensive research into how consumer habits are shaped by their perception of companies and industries offers invaluable insights for sales professionals.

Our conversation takes a fascinating journey through time and human behavior, from the origins of trust in early human societies to today’s business interactions. Dr. Grayson also shares his insights on risk tolerance and its crucial role in building trust with clients, along with practical strategies for sales professionals to cultivate genuine trust with clients and prospects.

Does Your Expertise Help or Hinder? 

We've all been there: polishing our pitch, refining our value proposition, making sure we come across as the ultimate expert. It's what we've been taught to do, right? Show off our competency and the prospect will trust us. Well, guess what? 

Experts say competency only really matters in emergencies. Think about it: When was the last time a prospect was in such dire straits that your competency was the only thing that mattered? Probably never. So why do we spend so much time focusing on it?

You spend so much time focusing on your competency because it’s one of the few things you’re able to identify that has worked. It’s the reason your prospect gives you when you ask them why they chose you. It’s your default when the pressure is on, and it’s easier and less revealing than having to ask really hard questions or make difficult observations. 

This fixation on competency—on proving our worth—often leads you down another dangerous path: the likeability trap. You bend over backwards trying to be agreeable, to find common ground, to be the kind of person your prospect would want to grab a drink or coffee with. But here's another mind-bender for you: being liked and being trusted are not the same thing. 

How much energy do you spend trying to be likable in your sales interactions? Now, how much of that actually translates to trust? The gap is probably wider than you think.

And speaking of gaps, let's talk about the different levels of trust required in various sales situations. There's a world of difference between the trust needed for someone to agree to a coffee chat and the trust required for them to sign a seven-figure deal. Yet, how many of us approach these situations with the same trust-building tactics? 

Now, you might be thinking, "But I'm objective in my approach. I listen to my prospects and give them what they need." 

👉 Here's a hard truth that might sting a bit: you cannot be objective when you're invested in the outcome. Every time you prepare a pitch, listen for buying signals, or focus on uncovering what you want to hear, you're sacrificing objectivity and trust.

👉 And guess what? Your prospects can tell. They can sense when you're steering the conversation a certain way through the questions you ask and the expertise you share towards your desired outcome, and it erodes the very trust you're trying to build.

If you have any self-awareness, these revelations should send a chill down your spine. Think about all the opportunities you might have missed because you were operating under these false assumptions regarding trust. 

How many deals slipped through your fingers because you were too focused on showcasing your competency instead of truly understanding your prospect's needs? How many relationships fizzled out because you prioritized being liked over being genuinely helpful?

But here's the good news: awareness is the first step to improvement. By recognizing these pitfalls, you're already on the path to building more genuine, effective trust with your prospects. It starts with a shift in mindset. Instead of focusing on how you can prove your worth, focus on how you can provide value. Instead of trying to be likable, strive to be authentic. Instead of applying a one-size-fits-all approach to trust, tailor your trust-building efforts to the specific situation and stakes involved.

And perhaps most importantly, cultivate true objectivity. This doesn't mean detaching yourself emotionally from the outcome—after all, we're human, and we naturally want to succeed. But it does mean approaching each interaction with a genuine curiosity and openness. It means being willing to ask the tough questions, even if the answers might not be what you want to hear. It means being prepared to walk away from a deal if it's truly not the right fit, rather than trying to force a square peg into a round hole.

In sales, trust is everything. But it's not about being the most competent or the most likable. It's about focusing on what’s best for the prospect and client, regardless of your needs, and being the most objective and genuine. 

Are you ready to challenge yourself and stop doing what’s easy (sharing your expertise), and trust yourself to slow down, listen, and ask more questions? If so, ask yourself this: 

Are you trying to be the main character in YOUR story—make the sale? Or are you helping the prospect become the lead character in THEIR story—improve their business?

Thanks for reading!

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