If We Don’t Change, We Don’t Grow

If We Don’t Change, We Don’t Grow

Welcome back to the 22nd issue of Disrupting Conversations! 

Lately I’ve been thinking about the process of growth and how it so often requires us to overcome adversity. We have to work through the discomfort and/or pain to get to the other side. But we rarely embrace the experience or journey. More often than not, we avoid it. 

There have been many times in my life where I’ve worked hard to achieve something, only to be underwhelmed by the fact that life keeps moving—whether I want to keep pace or not. But over the years and through recent talks with experts in psychology, neuroscience, and behavioral science, I’ve learned that growth comes from taking on these challenges. Every day and week is an opportunity to get better.  

The alternative is stagnation: remaining stuck in the same habits, patterns, and limiting beliefs that keep us from living fully and realizing our potential. Or worse yet: ignorance regarding our potential and the world around us.

This week, we’re talking about growth and the approaches that support it, even when making personal or professional progress feels tough. 

We’ve also got more insights from psychologist and neuroscientist Dr. George S. Everly, Jr. on the podcast. I hope these conversations are as helpful to you as they have been to me.

Breaking Sales is my podcast to connect with those who are ready to break free from the chains of old sales methodologies that don’t work.

Title of Episode: Routine and Cognitive Function with Dr. George S. Everly, Jr.

🎙️The conversations we have are a major contributor to the types of relationships we build. Believe it or not, strong cognitive function impacts how we listen, connect the dots, retain information, and express ourselves. The strength of your cognitive function can determine whether or not you win the deal, get the job or promotion, or successfully handle peer or team conflict.

In this episode of Breaking Sales, I continue my conversation with Dr. George S. Everly, Jr., a prolific neuroscientist, psychologist, researcher, and author. 

George and I discuss how we can support our cognitive function through sleep, exercise, and other mechanisms to improve brain performance and, ultimately, growth. 

Think Different: If We Don’t Change, We Don’t Grow 

I recently had a conversation with a client who was going through a very challenging personal transition. 

At a relatively young age, she was suddenly the primary caregiver for both her parents, who had recently suffered a series of major health issues. As an only child, and with no other family members around, the responsibility fell squarely on her shoulders. Finding care options, handling the finances, navigating complex medical and legal issues—it was all her burden to manage on top of her own career and personal life.

When we talked, she told me how underprepared she felt for this new reality. "I was never really taught how to be an adult or how to handle things like this," she said. I could hear the frustration and self-criticism in her voice.

It was a stark reminder that our personal growth happens not through some grand internal transformation, but by being thrown into the deep end by challenges and crises over and over again. 

We spend the first few decades of our lives adapting to new stages and everything that comes with them—adolescence, early adulthood, jobs, relationships, maybe parenthood. And just when we think we have it figured out, everything gets upended, and we're forced to grow again whether or not we're ready.

Then, the question becomes, “How do we respond?” 

Do we resist and remain stuck in the patterns, habits, and coping mechanisms that may have worked when we were kids but threaten to hold us back as adults? Or do we embrace the opportunity for growth, however painful and disruptive?

For my client, this was a wakeup call. She recognized her tendency to avoid conflict, seek external validation, and make choices based on familiarity and safety. This new life experience helped her realize that her current habits were no longer serving her. 

👉 What she needed were daily tools to build resilience, and process the anger, fear, and grief she was experiencing.

⛽I shared a practice with her that would help her release the weight of the unknown, generate and attract the energy she needs to keep moving forward, and gain some clarity in what she can control: journaling. 

Write down all the things that are causing you anxiousness, agitation, and uncertainty without judging or solving. Then, write down all the things that are good in your life—no matter how small. Lastly, remind yourself what you can control. 

Of course, this process wouldn’t solve all your problems, but it does create some space to breathe, stay grounded, and ultimately grow from this experience rather than being crushed by it.

Our human journey is long, messy, and never fully complete. But that's what makes it so powerful—that is, when we muster the courage to embrace it fully. 

👉 When faced with an internal or external obstacle, can you get to the other side? 

Thanks for reading!

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