How To Strengthen Your Resolve

Welcome back to the 38th issue of Disrupting Conversations!

I heard a phrase the other day, “quitters day.” My understanding is that it’s the day when most people abandon their New Year's Resolutions or goals, if they haven’t already.

I can’t say I agree with the label, but I know from experience and observation that there is some truth to the idea that January is a month of both great intent and rationalized disappointment.

👉 The intent starts off powerful—another year has passed and through reflection you determine that not too much has changed, so you resolve to make the changes and create something new the upcoming year. The list of intentions are endless. However, breaking old habits, routines, and thinking is a game of effort, not results. Unfortunately, all this effort is hard to maintain without the encouragement and support of the results. There’s just too much uncertainty.

💡Too often, we believe we fail due to a lack of motivation—is it? Or is it simply a lack of perspective in those everyday moments when you have to choose between doing “more and different” versus what you are used to doing? What would happen if you could strengthen your resolve in those moments when you have to make a split-second decision between reverting to the known and investing in the unknown?

Let's talk about how to keep going when that initial spark of motivation isn’t enough, and you start losing the battle to stay consistent in the moment.

– Dan

Breaking Sales is my podcast to connect with those who are ready to break free from the chains of old sales methodologies that don’t work.

Title of Episode: Reshaping Your Inner High Performance Dialogue with Psychologist Rachel Turow

🎙️ When motivation fades and progress feels hard, it's not just external obstacles we're fighting; it's often the voice inside our own head. In this episode, psychologist Rachel Turow and I talk about how our inner dialogue can either fuel progress or stop us in our tracks.

Dr. Turow and I explore how our everyday primal instinct to judge everything as "good" or "bad"—including our own efforts and setbacks—can paralyze us when we need momentum most. She shares research-backed strategies for shifting from harsh self-criticism ("I'm not doing enough" or "I should be further along") to the kind of productive self-talk that keeps us moving forward.

This isn’t your eyes closed, positive affirmation, calm voice, waterfall background noise, burning-incense-and-candles version. This is the real-deal, hard-work, strengthen-your-belief-and-resolve-practice.

What you create, achieve, and experience is congruent with your self-talk.   

Can You Strengthen Your Resolve One Moment At A Time?  

My January felt like a combination of Groundhog Day (extreme repetition) and being placed on a desert island (lots of unknowns). Yes, a strange combination, but that’s what happens when you blend intensive process and uncertainty. 

For example, this past week included forty meetings, two flights, a morning routine that starts at 5 am, and the reminder to do “more and different.” I remember one of those moments at the very end of the week, I was asked to get on another call, number forty one.

This call represented new actions that were aligned with what I want to create that’s different. My immediate thought was "I can't." I felt that wave of exhaustion wash over me, and the temptation to push the call and subsequent actions to the following week. But then I remembered: this isn't about how I feel in this moment. It's about where I want to be a year from now.

The truth is, motivation comes and goes. What actually moves us forward is our ability to slow down in the moment and ask ourselves, is this decision a vote toward where I’m headed or a vote to stay where I’m at?

I can think of two important life experiences where I learned to trust the discomfort of the moment and stick to process. Where I was tested beyond what I thought I was capable of. 

The first was starting my own business. I was 18 months in and had no clients and revenue, my financial staying power was almost gone, and friends and family were questioning my sanity. It was one of those "burn the ships" moments in my life. What got me through wasn't motivation— it was the reminder and vision of what I wanted to create in my life, and that each challenging moment either moved me in that direction or pushed me further back. It was a mental game. One meeting. One email. One phone call at a time.

My other experience was getting divorced—one of the hardest things to work through. I remember how hard it was traveling and then only having my kids every other weekend. But again, I kept an eye on where I was heading and what I wanted to create, and my mantra became “one weekend at a time"—keep moving forward. I was eventually able to hire some amazing teammates to help maintain and grow the business, so I could obtain a 50/50 split.  

What I learned: you don’t have to be perfect, you just have to keep moving forward.

Two things help me stay the course:

👉 First, maintaining clarity about where I'm headed. When fatigue sets in or obstacles arise, I remind myself of what I want to create or achieve a year from now. That vision provides the fuel to keep going.

👉 Second, remembering past challenges that I’ve overcome. We've all weathered difficult seasons. Those experiences remind us that we can make it through, even if the path forward is bumpy.

You don't need to have your best workout every time—sometimes just showing up is enough. You don't need to nail every meeting; just taking that 15-minute call when you're exhausted can make a difference.

Your success doesn't hinge on motivation or perfection. It relies on your ability and willingness to slow down and take one more step, however small or imperfect, in the direction of what you want to achieve.

It’s not the results that matter. It’s the moments! Do the work!

Thanks for reading!

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