Let the Pause Permeate 

Welcome back to the 41st issue of Disrupting Conversations!

Have you ever noticed how uncomfortable silence can be in a conversation? 

That awkward pause where you feel compelled to fill the void with... anything?

Most of us experience this discomfort daily, but it becomes particularly problematic in sales conversations, where the urge to fill silence can actually cost you valuable insights, connection, and ultimately, business opportunities.

I recently reviewed a call between one of my clients and their prospect. Around 35 minutes into the conversation, the prospect shared challenges that aligned perfectly with my client's expertise. To my client's credit, they didn't immediately jump to solution mode—instead, they asked, "Can you tell me more about those challenges?"

The prospect began sharing deeper insights, then paused and said, "You know what, this kind of reminds me of..." and then fell silent.

After about 5 seconds of silence, my client jumped in with information about their expertise and how they could solve the prospect's problems.

Here's the sad reality: we'll never know what that prospect was going to share.

But it doesn’t have to be that way. Let’s talk about how to harness the power of silence in sales and beyond. As you read, you’ll see why—and how—letting the pause permeate can change everything. 

– Dan

Breaking Sales is my podcast to connect with those who are ready to break free from the chains of old sales methodologies that don’t work.

Title of Episode: Say Less to Get More: Why Giving Space Creates Breakthrough Conversations

🎙️ When was the last time you sat comfortably in silence during a sales conversation? In this episode, Pam and I explore the transformative power of giving prospects space to think. You'll learn why jumping in to fill every pause can cost you valuable insights, practical techniques for creating space in your conversation, and how to practice the art of detachment from labeling interactions as "good" or "bad." This episode will transform how you approach questioning in sales conversations and help you create the conditions for prospects to share what's truly on their minds.

Note: We're excited to announce that Breaking Sales is moving to a bi-weekly (twice per month) schedule. This change allows us to deliver even higher-quality content and more actionable insights in each episode. Thank you for your continued support!

Let the Pause Permeate 

Why do we rush to fill silence? 

It usually stems from insecurity of some kind. We project our own uncertainty and discomfort onto others, thinking, “if we don’t like the silence, they won’t either. We’d better break it or they may end up not liking us.”  

When we hear silence during a conversation with a prospect or customer, our instinct is to fill it—often because we're not feeling secure in the situation or we’re uncertain about what’s going to happen next. This attachment creates anxiety that compels us to speak, even when silence would serve us better.

In sales conversations, this happens constantly. We ask good questions, but instead of allowing the prospect time to form their complete thoughts, we jump in prematurely with solutions, more questions, or our own commentary.

Each time we interrupt because of our own insecurities or uncertainties, we disrupt the other person's chain of thought. We'll never know what valuable information they might have shared had we just waited a few seconds longer.

This is particularly damaging in sales conversations because:

1. You miss critical information: Often, the most valuable insights come after a moment of reflection.

2. You communicate impatience: Jumping in signals that you're more interested in talking than listening.

3. You demonstrate a lack of confidence: The inability to sit with silence often reveals your own discomfort.

4. You take control away from the prospect: By filling silence, you redirect the conversation away from what they wanted to express.

So how do we overcome this tendency? I recommend establishing "conversation rules" that you review before any important interaction. Just as athletes, doctors, pilots, and first responders follow processes before they perform, sales professionals should have pre-conversation rituals.

One of your rules should be: "I will allow silence to permeate during conversation when needed."

To do this you will need a mindset practice that reminds you that - “there is no good or bad in what this person will share—it’s information that I need to hear and understand.” 

If you catch yourself interrupting, simply acknowledge it transparently: "My apologies, I interrupted your thought process. What were you about to say?"

The most successful sales professionals I've coached have mastered the art of comfortable silence. They know that giving prospects space to think fully through their challenges often reveals the exact information needed to help them most effectively.

The next time you find yourself in a conversation where there's a pause, resist the urge to fill it. Take a breath, count to 10 if needed, and let the silence do its work. You might be amazed at what you learn when you simply say less.

Thanks for reading!

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