You mean they didn’t do exactly what you told them they should? Weird…

It’s that time of year, summer holiday, travel, family, and creating new memories and experiences. Glad to share a moment with you.

In this podcast, my guest, Chris Tuff, speaker and author, discusses the art of trying to meet people where they are without giving up who you are. In my opinion, it’s not about one generation having to do all the work. It always takes two.

👉Then, this week’s high-performance insight is about why giving advice doesn’t usually work like we intend. It’s the first part of a two-part discussion; next week we’ll touch on how to stop giving advice and what to do instead.

Finally, we’ve got some humor and an inspirational quote as always.

I hope you enjoy it. Thanks for joining me again, and please reach out by responding here any time you have questions or feedback.

Welcome back to the 10th issue of Disrupting Conversations!

— Dan

Breaking Sales is my podcast to connect with those who are ready to break free from the chains of old sales methodologies that don’t work.

🎙 How To Optimize Cross-Generational Connection with Chris Tuff

Every relationship requires the effort of both parties to work together effectively. While I’m not a big fan of customizing approaches to a particular generation, the reality is often that each generation’s set of values (in business and personal life) requires each of us to slow down and take the time to understand one another and navigate differences.

Chris and I talked about Millennial and Gen Z perspectives on technology, family, and interpersonal relationships, and why you need to understand these to be effective in your business.

It was a challenging conversation for me. I admittedly struggle with some of the reputation and perception values our younger generations were taught, but it was good to learn more.

Tune in now to hear the full conversation.

Think Different: Why Giving Advice Has the Opposite Effect You Desire

Earlier this summer, our oldest son came home after his freshman year of college without a job and his savings account quickly dwindling. I was frustrated.

My annoyance stemmed from an agreement we made with him back in December that required he earn X amount for his next school year, and we had suggested on multiple occasions that he come home prior to summer and solidify a job.

So, it was time for some more well intended fatherly guidance. It didn’t go like I hoped—at first.

After a brief talk, where I had to go through the tedious process of reminding him of our agreement (now I know why my parents would always say to me that they were tired of sounding like a broken record), he went out and found a job that first week.

Great!

But there was a problem: His boss could only gave him half the weekly hours he needed to save enough for the next year.

When I asked him what he planned to do, he said he was going to find an additional job. So I said, "Where? When?" and he said he'd think it through, but I could tell there wasn't urgency behind it. It was like, Yeah, yeah, I’ll get to it.

I felt anxious for him because I saw what he didn’t. I said, "You have to get a job!"

We went round and round: me trying to help him learn from my experiences—that what he’s doing isn’t going to work and something has to change ASAP—and him becoming more and more resistant. We were zigging and zagging.

And the more it wasn't sinking in, the more frustrated I got.

The problem was – I had done the math regarding time allotted, hours, wages, and taxes. He hadn’t, so he wasn’t seeing or feeling the problem.

Then I stopped and thought, I'm going about this all wrong. So I paused. "Okay, sit down."

I tried something different:

I let go and accepted that whatever lesson lay ahead, it was the one he needed to learn. With this came a sense of calmness and clarity. I was no longer attached, so I started simply asking him questions. It didn’t take long before the tone, mood, and energy of the conversation started to shift. I was giving him a chance to connect his own dots.

He had a new job in two days.

But that didn’t happen because I finally convinced him to do what I was telling him. Giving advice doesn't work. Unless the other person is ready for it.

And we can't be the judge of deciding that the other person should be ready for our advice. Just because of our knowledge, experience, and what we're observing, that doesn’t give us the right to judge whether the other person should be ready for our advice.

It’s the same rules and process with your prospects, clients, and teammates.

We’ll talk next time about what I did to help my oldest son take ownership of the situation and move toward action. We’ll also explore how to know whether someone is ready for advice, and what to do when they’re not.

Laughter Can Drive Performance—If You Let It

Thanks for reading!

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